Hello, January! Hello 2013 !

A month apart, since the las post. 😀 heee.. Do not blame me.. A lot of things happened in just a month, that I couldn’t or had no mood to write anything or to post anything. It’s not about mood juga sih.. Most of karena I really don’t know how to start the story nor what to say. I’m in my “LABIL” phase or what they say as galau. Hoho, I’m still teenager, remember? So it’s fine and natural for me to be galau. 😀

Teenager.. a 25 years old teenager.

:)) Silly.

I think I don’t have to write the exact stories here, everything has been written in my diary. Yes, baby, I still have a diary and I’m proud of it. Here’s the thing: I’m confused between “to be independent entrepreneur — that means I have to leave JDC and start the business by my own self, a home businnes, taking all of the risks” or “stay in JDC and together start the business with a bigger scale, sharing the risks”. I tried to list the pluses and minuses, talked and shared with closest relatives and also JDC. They have different opinions, but you know, whatever people would say, it’s only you who can change your path. Only you, who know what’s good, what’s bad, what would be fit, or what wouldn’t be fit for yourself.

So here I am, in JDC, and decided to try. To try to start the business with JDC. 🙂 

I don’t know, I just feel relieved and more happy, more cheerful (never ever imagine me with cheerful in its origin definiton, imagine me cheerful in a flat way please since I have this flat face) after decided to stay in JDC. Hope this is a good sign. Aamiin

People lie, but heart doesn’t lie.

That’s what I know.

 

Ps. Wish me luck, Dun

 

d/e

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Oh, where’s the good escape?

Jadi setelah tidak ada lagi hal lain yang bisa dijadikan alasan untuk mengulur pengerjaan business plan dan RAT itu, moooo ga maoooo. sukaaa.. ga .. sukaaa.. percayaaa.. ga percaya.. sadar ga sadar.. mimpi ga mimpiiiii.. here I am. Di depan laptop. Buka-buka lagi bahan kuliah EP dulu. Dimana di situ.. ada SWOT, Balance Score Card.. bercampur sama visi misi, RAT, dan lainnya yang saya sulit ingat. 

Truuus.. saya ingat lebih baik ngerjain anggaran untuk market testingnya dulu. Sambil hitung-hitung berapa kira-kira sepatu yang akan distock. Dan tiba-tiba gatal mau hitung biaya kotornya. Dan JEDDAR!! Awh.. saya ga begitu suka lihat banyak nolnya. Kepala saya pun pusing. Mau pura-pura lupa saja biar ga usah mikirin. Tapi sebelum itu perut saya keburu mual duluan. Duit segede itu. Belum pernah ambo berbeban sebanyak itu. Palingan gaji tiap bulan. Tapi itu sih gampang. Ga pake pertanggungjawaban pada orang lain. Hanya Tuhan yang tahu bagaimana saya habisin itu gaji bulanan. Ga pake mikir cuy, malah cenderung berusaha menghindar berapa uang yg baru keluar. Careless me.

Lihat kalender, ow ow ow. 21 sudah harus presentasi. T.T ngebenerin draft kacangan bekas jaman jahiliyah EP dulu saja belum. 

Berkelebatanlah itu janji-janji palsu. Imaginasi bergadang hari ini lalu esok lalu lusa dan hari-hari berikutnya demi business plan dan RAT. Dusta. Tidak akan mempan. Lalu bergantian dengan hal-hal yang masih harus dikerjakan seperti power pointnya. Lalu diganti lagi dengan hal-hal yang harus dimasukkan dalam BP dan RATnya. Oh, pusing. Suhu otak mulai meningkat. Jangan sampai mendidih, amin. 

Dan saat semua itu terjadi, guess what I’m doing now?

Nge-blog, booooo!

Isn’t it a good escape? Sementara, Delin.. I know I know. Cuma sementara. Minggu depan mana bisa lagi begini. Mungkin minggu depan, ah.. entah deh. Doakan saja ya saya bisa selesaikan semuanya dengan baik. Demi mimpi saya nih. #gaya

 

Ciao, world! Wish me luck, will you? Ah no, I don’t need luck now. I need to exchange my brain for awhile dengan jenis otak seperti.. um.. Otaknya Bu Rahma atau Mas Ef? They’re so whimsical genius in financial things. So wish me this rather than luck, will you?

 

d/e

It’s like a wake-up call.

I know my research was going too long for people who keep hearing from me “I’m still on research.. I’m still on research .. I’m still on research”. Kadang suka tercetus gitu aja dari mereka, “Kok lama?” ; “Perasaan dari dulu riset melulu deh” ; “Riset kok ga selesai-selesai..”

Bukan hanya mereka yang gemas. Saya juga gemas. Kadang this research is kinda killing me. The longer it takes the longer I make money. Apalagi kalau mikirin saya ini masih jadi “beban” untuk JDF. Masih digaji pakai uang pribadinya Pak Januar. Saya kadang mikir, saya ini udah enak banget, “dimanjakan” untuk jadi entrepreneur. Ga perlu susah2 cari modal ke bank. Ga perlu ribet jatuh bangun sendiri. Saya sudah dipakaikan seatbelt istilahnya. Sudah dikasih banyak training gratis. Sudah dibimbing. Sudah dibekali. Tapi waktu yang saya habiskan untuk mempersiapkan bisnis ini, rasanya sudah makan waktu seabad, really killing me. I sometimes feel so not ready with their expectation on me. I’m always afraid that I will disappoint them, or I did? I’m afraid that they eventually think I’m not the right person to run a business. Ah, you’ll find me dying just to think about that. So the only thing I can do to distract this feeling, is just focusing on this research. There’s nothing wrong with the research itself sebenernya. Research yang berjalan sudah sesuai dengan apa yang saya rencanakan. Timeline-nya pun sudah pas. Malah diawal saya bisa jauh lebih cepat dari timeline. Tapi, ketika masuk ujicoba sampel sepatu, di sinilah panasnya neraka mulai terasa.

Untuk bikin 3 sampel sepatu saja, bisa makan waktu 2 bulan. And fyi, I had 13 samples to make. That’s not included trials and errors. Not including time to get ideas for designing, the designing itself, exploring which materials fit with my designs, browsing every material stores, surveying material suppliers, and on and on. And like any other things in this life, there’s always the inbetweens. There are obstacles (I’m so much trying to not using word “problem” here) with the production capacity, workers, their time management, the ability of visualizing and implementing my designs, and also bad communication. And then I finally found out there’s one other big thing which becomes the main bottleneck.

Trust.

Don’t ask me, I do trust them. But they tend to underestimate of doing my orders, because it’s just one pair per model and then it’s new design so they have to spend extra time to visualize my design onto shoe pattern. And by their past experience, there were people like me, who order new design and only one pair, and after the shoes made, they carried the shoes and produce them in another place. So besides the things I mentioned before, this is why they kept postponing the production of my shoes. They’re afraid I’d be one of them. They mistrust me. And that’s normal. If I were them, maybe I would have that kind of feeling too. But I already talked with the shoemakers, and I think the only way to prove that I’m the right person to work with, is by ordering the shoes immediately. So yes, time to rush!

Now you can get the idea why my shoes research became so long. Besides, I really want to make sure my shoes would be those comfortable to wear.

As my mom ever said to me, I’m working with humans, not machines. Thus this shoes research doesn’t just burn numbers of calories, but also depletes my emotional storage. That’s why I eat a lot. hehehe. No, no.. kidding.

But you know, we won’t name it Research if we don’t learn anything from the mistakes or even successful hits we’ve made. Research is the time where we are allowed to make mistakes as much as we want. Real world outside there won’t let you do this for free. I presume.

Now, me? I’m even trying to handle myself, to remind myself to just focus on what I believe I’m doing. Right now, I believe I’m doing my research on the right track.

About people’s comments? It’s like a wake-up call for me. Now I’m trying to re-plan my plans. I’ll make sure there’s no single day wasted. Now I even put my money on risk. But that’s what entrepreneur all about right?

Wish me luck, Dun.

d/e