It’s like a wake-up call.

I know my research was going too long for people who keep hearing from me “I’m still on research.. I’m still on research .. I’m still on research”. Kadang suka tercetus gitu aja dari mereka, “Kok lama?” ; “Perasaan dari dulu riset melulu deh” ; “Riset kok ga selesai-selesai..”

Bukan hanya mereka yang gemas. Saya juga gemas. Kadang this research is kinda killing me. The longer it takes the longer I make money. Apalagi kalau mikirin saya ini masih jadi “beban” untuk JDF. Masih digaji pakai uang pribadinya Pak Januar. Saya kadang mikir, saya ini udah enak banget, “dimanjakan” untuk jadi entrepreneur. Ga perlu susah2 cari modal ke bank. Ga perlu ribet jatuh bangun sendiri. Saya sudah dipakaikan seatbelt istilahnya. Sudah dikasih banyak training gratis. Sudah dibimbing. Sudah dibekali. Tapi waktu yang saya habiskan untuk mempersiapkan bisnis ini, rasanya sudah makan waktu seabad, really killing me. I sometimes feel so not ready with their expectation on me. I’m always afraid that I will disappoint them, or I did? I’m afraid that they eventually think I’m not the right person to run a business. Ah, you’ll find me dying just to think about that. So the only thing I can do to distract this feeling, is just focusing on this research. There’s nothing wrong with the research itself sebenernya. Research yang berjalan sudah sesuai dengan apa yang saya rencanakan. Timeline-nya pun sudah pas. Malah diawal saya bisa jauh lebih cepat dari timeline. Tapi, ketika masuk ujicoba sampel sepatu, di sinilah panasnya neraka mulai terasa.

Untuk bikin 3 sampel sepatu saja, bisa makan waktu 2 bulan. And fyi, I had 13 samples to make. That’s not included trials and errors. Not including time to get ideas for designing, the designing itself, exploring which materials fit with my designs, browsing every material stores, surveying material suppliers, and on and on. And like any other things in this life, there’s always the inbetweens. There are obstacles (I’m so much trying to not using word “problem” here) with the production capacity, workers, their time management, the ability of visualizing and implementing my designs, and also bad communication. And then I finally found out there’s one other big thing which becomes the main bottleneck.

Trust.

Don’t ask me, I do trust them. But they tend to underestimate of doing my orders, because it’s just one pair per model and then it’s new design so they have to spend extra time to visualize my design onto shoe pattern. And by their past experience, there were people like me, who order new design and only one pair, and after the shoes made, they carried the shoes and produce them in another place. So besides the things I mentioned before, this is why they kept postponing the production of my shoes. They’re afraid I’d be one of them. They mistrust me. And that’s normal. If I were them, maybe I would have that kind of feeling too. But I already talked with the shoemakers, and I think the only way to prove that I’m the right person to work with, is by ordering the shoes immediately. So yes, time to rush!

Now you can get the idea why my shoes research became so long. Besides, I really want to make sure my shoes would be those comfortable to wear.

As my mom ever said to me, I’m working with humans, not machines. Thus this shoes research doesn’t just burn numbers of calories, but also depletes my emotional storage. That’s why I eat a lot. hehehe. No, no.. kidding.

But you know, we won’t name it Research if we don’t learn anything from the mistakes or even successful hits we’ve made. Research is the time where we are allowed to make mistakes as much as we want. Real world outside there won’t let you do this for free. I presume.

Now, me? I’m even trying to handle myself, to remind myself to just focus on what I believe I’m doing. Right now, I believe I’m doing my research on the right track.

About people’s comments? It’s like a wake-up call for me. Now I’m trying to re-plan my plans. I’ll make sure there’s no single day wasted. Now I even put my money on risk. But that’s what entrepreneur all about right?

Wish me luck, Dun.

d/e

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